Say something about gay babies.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
