defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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