Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
