gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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