I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
