Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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