so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
