Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
