When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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