so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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