i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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