you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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