One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
