I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
