Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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