drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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