I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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