they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
