well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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