well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
