In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
