I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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