a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
