I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
