Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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