So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
