"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
