I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
