**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
