I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You pole danced in your parka.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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