STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
