Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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