Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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