i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
