whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
