Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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