If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
