I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
