I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
