butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize