he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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