im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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