it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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