Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pants 0. Shit 1.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
