bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
