girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
