My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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