Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize