i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
