apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
