Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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