I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
