He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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