I hope mine doesn't look like that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
