i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
