Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
