I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She bit a glass in half.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
