can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
accomplished twins. life is a go
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
