YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize