In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
