Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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