Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
