Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
