Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
