I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize