i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
