I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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