id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize