so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
