so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
